thought to thought

Ok I am new to this but here it goes. My husband and I have been together for 20yrs. He is the love of my life. We have been through a thing or two. Ten years ago my mother was hit by a car in NM and killed instantly, we then took over the financial care of my grandmothers care who had Alzheimer. She past away about two years ago. Then about four years ago we started taking care of my aunt who also has Alzheimer. Now I was diagnosed with ADD when I was about nine. I have always had problems in school, ect ect. If things interest me I am the queen... I excel if not - well not at all. Pretty common add stuff.

Now with all that said one would say oh your stressed, grieving yada yada yada. But been there done that my husband and I spend every waking moment together- and hes a bit of a mentalist. He notices everything. Now we are trying to go back to work, he is non add. However he has three friends who are ADD and a wife(me) who is ADD. His plate is kinda full. He has taken a  break recently from his friends ( i think he resents me for not having the patience to deal with them because of me) But heres the thing, my add is in full effect. Since everything in our life as calmed down, I have no schedule no structure. He needs go with the flow- from having so much structure before. But im having a hard tome adjusting.  Just yesterday, we were supposed to go to the bank, we fell asleep watching a movie. He got up before me and started getting ready. I got up and checked the bank hours, now heres where my add kicked in, the bank closed at 4 it was 415. My mind rushed with what else do we need out what else do we need to do - before you know the bank closing is a distant thought. I start getting ready continuing to have the conversation in my head. Then he says hey its almost 5 are we going to make it in time what time do they close---OH shit! I tell him they closed at four-this turns into an argument - not because its small but because it happens all the time. Hes like why didn't you tell me earlier? why did you wait for me to ask? so on and so on- he knows how my head works but sometimes doesn't have the patience for it. I'm trying really hard to get better at not letting my mind wonder, but is hard.

I m not trying to hurt him, I want him to get better, but i don't know how we are going to get through this my add isn't going anywhere.