My diagnosis was almost 3 years ago at the age of 43. I have apologized for my actions, I always take my meds, I'm working on correcting poor coping skills, I read a lot about my condition, I post to learn more and hopefully help a few others along the way. My DD#1, recently diagnosed with ADD caught me by surprise, but it all made sense when I started putting all the pieces together. My wife has pretty much discounted ADD from the very beginning of my own diagnosis. She thinks there is ADD, but the symptoms are things everyone feels. My DD#1 started having severe depression issues 5 or 6 months ago and her psychologist suggested anti-depressants which they psychiatrist prescribed, but had little effect, then he changed her to Lexapro which made things far worse, he then added Abilafy, after I suggested that I thought she might be just like me with ADD, which seemed to improve things slightly. DD#1 did not like this guy, her psychologist flat out told my DD#1 and DW that there was "No Way" she had ADD and she just wanted to be skinny like her dad. WTF?!? REALLY... The psychologist referred us to a psychiatrist she really liked. After 3 meetings, he agreed with me about the ADD and put her on Vyvannse. DD#1 responded immediately for the better,just like I did.
Sorry for the long setup to my topic, but it sets the stage.
My DW and DD#1 seem to but heads and did today over a conversation about chores. We were discussing everything together and after my DD#1 went to her room, my DW and I continued the discussion. We pretty much agreed on the situation regarding the chores and my DW#1 not being respectful enough to her when confronted about not getting things done. What made my DW mad, was later in the day, several hours past the confrontation, my DD#1 asked to go to Target for something. My wife was shocked and PO'd that she would make the suggestion after what happened earlier that day. Well... This is now the part where my research and understanding of ADD can shed some like on this Classic "In the now" behavior. As I was beginning to explain in terms of how I would act, the next day, following a confrontation with her like nothing ever happened. When I tried to continue, she just cut me off, telling me that everything does not have to be related to ADD. REALLY... She knows this because of all the research she has NOT done about ADD. She still tells me she does not really believe DD#1 has ADD, but hopefully she will lose weight on the meds. This is about the only thing she believes the meds do. (Another Sore subject) Things in general have been improving for us, but her anger problems (She acknowledges she has) are still obviously still aimed at the subject of ADD, even though she says she does not believe had any affect on our marriage. My DW just cannot believe that ADD behaviors are not simply disrespect for her and a means to be taken advantage of.
Well... Thanks for listening. I have much more work to do here. DD#2 is Very ADHD, even my DW believes this now. She was pissed when I first suggested it shortly after my diagnosis. I am about to make an appointment for her to get evaluated. I HATE that I have passed this on to my baby girls, but I'll be damned if I let them go their entire lives not knowing what could be going on in their heads. I will not let them believe they are Stupid, lazy or Crazy! Wish me luck :)