Tired of crying...I'm thinking of giving up.

As I sit here, I'm actually crying. The last two weeks..everything changed. Before these two weeks, we were so happy...

I've written a topic here before: "how to cope with my adhd boyfriend". I don't even think or feel now, that his adhd has anything to do with how he's treating me. A few weeks ago, it were really going great. So great, that if I now think about it in camparison to how things were last week and this week, I start to cry. He called me frequently, even when he was busy. I got random texts. He made jokes, he were loving. Then I went to visit him (we have a long distance relationship) for the first time in 3 weeks. That weekend were wonderful. He were by my side the whole time. We were away with a bunch of friend. We didn't argue once. We were just both so happy to see each other again. We even gave out tips to our other friends who were also in a LDR because they admired how we do it. And then I went back home....and everything changed...He didnt call, make jokes, send random texts...his messages were short, giving nothing away of how he felt. I asked him whats going on... he says "nothing, i'm just tired after the weekend". But each day followed like that. I tried to keep things light and fun when we talked...over a phone call, he didnt have anything to say to me...

I thought that it's going to get better..the past weekend he came home and everything were fine at the beginning...but then he just said somethings that were quite hurtful...but he was joking..but i couldn't help to wonder if there's some truth in.. the rest of the weekend I were very quiet...I wanted to talk to him and ask what he meant with what he said, but I was afraid..because he gets mad when I doubt him...but i cannot help it if says things in a jokingly manner, but then that joke had to start at some point of serious thinking?

When he went back to where he studies, we had a tiff right before he left...so he left when we were mad at each other... then the rest of the day nd the following day we didnt speak...It really bothered me, so then I called him to talk things out...We actually did, and he again told me he loves me, but we should tallk to each other when something bothers us and he would try not to get mad..

But now he has exams...so he studies almost whole day, so we barely talk. I'm not going to see him for the next two weeks. From yesterday, he doesn'y have to stydy untill sunday he said, so I though and hoped that we can just have random, fun conversations again...but I was wrong. Yes, I know he were really tired so he went to sleep really early last night, and only woke up at about 11:30 this morning...so again I thought, "okay now we can talk for a bit". But he decided he's going to watch movie whole day...and when he watches movie, that's the only thing he can focus on... BUT. I understand, he's tired from studying, and now that he has the chance, he just want to do nothing and have time for himself. But how do I tell my heart to understand that? like, we had a really short text convo, but it's again as if he's not interested in me..beacuse I will ask him things, tell him things just to speak to him...he just don't do it...not even a "how's your day going?" like two weeks ago. Usually he had something to say after my message...now nothing.. I'm the one trying. And I have this feeling he doesn't care even that we talk so little now.. he doesn't care that he's not going to see me for the next two or three weeks... I don't know if he's just so comfortable in our relationship, that he doesn't realize, he still actually got a girlfriend that would like a bit of recognition. I now feel that he won't even care if I just walk away and leave him. Because I'm beginning to think that's the only thing left for me to do. I have put so much in this relationship. But now I feel I have to fight for some of his time and attention...and I know I'm worth more. 

Should I go, or should I just cry some more and stick with him until I don't love him anymore :(