Tired of dysfunction

I sometimes think my severely ADD husband would rather be tortured to death than agree that I might be right about anything or show me any empathy about anything.  It doesn't whether I start a sentence with the word I, you, we, they or Santa Claus it is twisted in his head and heard as a personal attack on his manhood or me telling him what to do.  I am so sick of fighting and being the only one in this marriage willing to try to solve problems instead of ignoring them.  And we've had just enough counseling that he uses it against me in an argument.  "I'm just responding the way the counselor said to"..."I'm not talking because you said you want me to listen."  Everything is twisted and manipulated and he is never accountable for anything in this relationship.  Nothing I say is ever right nor is the way I handle anything.  A very frustrating way to live.