Things were going well for a bit between ADHD spouse and I, but recently the demands on me and stress has increased greatly. My older son started a new med and I have had to keep close watch on his for side effects (which did happen as we raised the dosage), which meant taking him everywhere with me. He also got approved for some disability services, so I have been rushing to find therapists, habilitation and respite people to work with him, I have tons of medical receipts to submit, need to find a mental health case manager for him, and had a clerical error that was substantial with his services that I had to figure out how to get fixed.
My younger son has a big mess with his school- found out the teacher threatened to flunk him and half the class based on a yearly assessment test, which is illegal, and that she had been picking on him half the year. It took several days to reach the administrators on his campus about this, and the highest level administrator I spoke with simply acted like he didn't know whether my son could be flunked on this basis or not. Not to mention my son has a 504 Plan for his ADHD/Autoimmune Encephalitis. With two weeks left in the school year I have been debating pulling him out of school but could get in trouble with the law, so battling on how to keep him away from this teacher because she is absolutely crazy (hormonal new Mom who hates special needs kids).
Then I have my own health issues and am trying to keep working while finding my younger son a new school and getting older son's schedule set up for the summer. On top of doing all parenting and housework.
My husband was gone on purpose four nights this week, either with hanging out with friends, teaching sports classes or at the fraternity he is a part of. Despite my pleading with him to help out. He would come home late at night and do nothing, basically collapse on the couch and ignore my requests to at least get one child in bed, and start falling asleep after that. My older child started having rage episodes and things like that due to a med dosage increase, so that made for two dangerous, volitile and difficult mornings in a row, on top of younger child's school drama. By last night, I was pissed off. Ending up yelling and going off at him for quite some time because he did the ignoring me and watching TV thing instead of at least getting one child in bed. His excuse was that he should be able to watch his TV shows and it's the weekend so they can stay up all night if they want. No, not kids with chronic health issues and one with special needs. As it was, they fell asleep way past 10pm, which is too late for especially my younger child. Spouse and I also had a big fight on Thursday night where he tried to deny his younger son has ADHD symptoms (due to Autoimmune Encephalitis), does not need any help in school, and that he better not ever end up with an IEP, etc. About 10 million people have told me both my kids clearly have neurological issues, and a friend with multiple children with Autism actually thought my younger son might at some point test on the spectrum due to repetitive behaviors, attention issues, sensory issues and social problems he has had this year.
My husband suddenly got up this morning and did laundry and cleaned the garage, took the kids out. Good thing too, because I am so burned out I am considering leaving for like a whole month. I'm just exhausted handling everything and getting no help. I guess he is trying to make it work or this is how adults with ADHD respond in a sheer panic.