today is the starting of a long weekend here at my state,

What to expect from DH this weekend,well it's simple to say LOOK OUT!!! big fights coming!!!!,should I stay into the comforts of my own home and be missing him? or should I go and just learn how to handle it maturely? well a few weeks ago I would have gone at DH apartment without even thinking this through,but now I know different, I am thinking it through and still very Happy to share the long weekend with him!Opps!!!!! LOOK OUT! the mood swings!!  the tantrums,fights,accusations,hell the "blame game" what to do? I have to go,I love him too much to miss the long weekends kisses and hugs,maybe at  every corner in my mind dwells a place of trust, but also a place of fear, and it is pushing me right now ten steps forward, and twenty steps backward,I am scared he would call me names,I am scared he would run me out like a dog!! I am scared,what to do! what to do!!.I would go and face it, I would expect the unexpected and just try and work around the "ADHD bad side" I am praying it is a wonderful long weekend with the man I am crazy about,keep me in your prays.


anger out of control,

DH was very tired yesterday after coming home from a sports lime he had at work, with lots of food and dare to say "alcohol", his alcohol consumption was way over his limits, and also reeking of marijuana"plenty marijuana",my instinct serve me right about the long weekends fights and anger tantrums burst outs,he was very sweet up until this morning,My DH was at a very silent movement this morning, keeping in my mind that he had a project pending to finish at a long over due schedule, and today he decided to complete the task,I on the other hand did not see the reason to go along to DH work site, and proceeded to be taken home by DH until his task would be completed some what 2 to 3 hours later,he would pick me back up home by me to continue our long weekend together,I am honestly thinking all that time something was wrong since he was more distracted my thoughts rather than speaking to me at all,upon arriving home he was telling me something is bothering him and when he got back from project he would discuss it with me,I was very curios to find out what could me wrong? what have I done this time?He proceed in telling me that he is upset I am on the internet blogging here on marriage forums,and that it looks like DH is having feelings of embarrassment,I told him that the forums is private and he has nothing to worry about,and a few weeks prior to that he wanted me to show the history on my computer and I did not do so,, and it built up an insure feeling on his part thinking I am hiding stuff,I am not hiding anything from DH and would never! in fact I have been telling him that I am looking for ways to help us in our relationship and I am doing everything possible to save it from ending.

DH is not good at keeping his anger under control and I am worse at helping him managing it,I got very offended and proceed to argue back with him on my defense rather than just listening to him keeping in mind his ADHD is in progress and just stop!!! I am not blaming my self though but rather thinking that it just might not work for us after all my efforts and trials,he was very very angry and I was only feeling more and more hurt,I am thinking all that time during our confrontation"if only he knew how much I love him and just want to spend the weekend with him without this!"I am at a lost with him! he won the fight!! I am here home alone without him and I have to accept it no matter what,I can't even feel my feelings at this point,I am more shock than ever!! I thought that he wanted to be with me over this weekend but I don't think so.I might have to end things with him soon in spite my efforts,and even though I love him so much I could tell it would not work out with him and I am devastated,I love him but maybe in life "LOVE" is just the feeling we created to feel or be wanted by someone I don't know?,, I have to part ways from DH, it went to far this time with the wrong accusations,and high high high anger burst outs,for,no reason whatsoever,WOW ADHD really is a dangerous thing when it comes to relationships OMG,I have seen it all but nothing like this!! Maybe he would come around maybe he won't I don't know....I hope he does!!

Uh oh...

Obviously, I've been following your posts.  You are in a situation I JUST got out of.  There's still a lot of work to be done on us however...  My DH has severe tantrums btw. And they can be quite scary.

Well, it sounds like he's got you where he wants you (sorry to be blunt).  If you keep accepting the bad behavior, it'll keep happening.  There's no 2 ways about that!  Remember, the past is in the past - leave it there.  "If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always gotten."  Yes, I do love my cliches - it's still true though.

Your DH won't like what you tell him, of course.  But are you really talking to a brick wall?  May as well be.  Only he can change himself, and until he recognizes what he's doing is destructive, it'll stay the same.  This is obviously not acceptable for you, yet you continue to put up with it.

It'll take courage, but keep putting one foot in front of the other, in the right direction, and you'll end up a much happier person...wherever that might be.

Take care,

masmam1 thank you,

talking to a brick wall is soo true,and that's all I have been doing really,but that very same day he burst out in tantrums and anger was really a sign of manic depression,he came back for me about some what 20 min later not even, and he was all in tears by my gateway,and I felt sooo sorry for him,he asked me to come back and I ran back into the lions mouth,and when we got home by him, he is telling me how bad he misses his kids and that he had a bad dream and he didn't mean to burst out in anger at me and he apologized sincerely and also he said that is was just his hurt of his kids and his bad dream the night before,I felt so sorry and spent the "whole" weekend with him.That very same day he cried for almost 2 hours and sank himself into depressions and hurt, and all I could really do was comfort him, even though I really should have just leave him to be depress but,I am not that cold hearted and I can't do it! maybe that's why he have his way with me, and walks all over me because I am this soft person that I am, but after all that we did indeed have a very good weekend.He is going to the doctor this week and start meds for the depressions and the he says.