DH with undiagnosed ADHD has a bad habit of listening to everything I say to people, especially on the phone when all he can hear is me not the other person and then he tries to have a dissertation over the exact words that I use.
He gets very upset of I use the word me or my when we talk about things like the house, the car, the business etc. Half the time, I am not even awake or paying attention. Like if the other person asks me "How do you drive to work." I might say a variety of things. "I drive my car." or I drive the car" or "I drive our car" DH has no idea what we are talking about but feels that I am rude if I don't always say our or we. If the person had asked. "How do you and your husband drive to work." I would said "We drive our car" (we work together) but if the person asks me a YOU question singular, then I am bound to answer in the singular first person me or my. That is how conversation works.
I mean do I have to mind my P and q's every single waking moment? WHO CARES.
He wants to be able to tell me every time something bothers him that I say or do , because according to him that is a good marriage. Um, no. Having a filter and knowing when to pick your battles is having a good marriage. I can't even be in the doorway of a room when he is talking on the phone because I am "distracting" but he CONSTANTLY eavesdrops on my conversations and then wants to pick a fight about it. Drives me nuts. If I was tell him every single time that I am bothered by him telling lies and jokes at my expense, we would be fighting all of the time.
So this escalated into DH claiming that I tell my family that he doesn't work, which is a lie because he WORKS all of the time. Then how well even if you don't tell them that, that is what the think, which they don't. How does he know what they think? They have never spoken to him about it. They know we run our own business which is a ton of work and both work really hard. They know that. So then it goes into well then your family thinks you do all of the work and I just sit there. Really? Where did he get that?