Tomorrow is Another Day

This has happened many times.  We have a heavy conversation usually about something he did or didn't do.  I am emotional, loud, insistent, strong.  I have said I can't go on like this anymore and give some suggestions about giving ourselves both some breathing room and both be able to get our needs met in a way other than us beating ourselves up trying so hard.  He ususally says things are OK to him but "whatever". In the morning, I am distraught with the work ahead of looking for other living arrangements and the conversations and professionals that will have to be included in the untangling of our mismatch.  He is always gone in the morning so I am left with the deed alone or to wait to discuss this further.  When he does breeze in he makes no attempts at talking EVER until I am the first one to start the ball rolling.  It can take DAYS or WEEKS ---- he will NEVER be the first one to speak.  No matter what I say, he will say something unrelated like, "Do we have ice cream?" or "I took the garbage out." or "What did your sister say on the phone?"  Sometimes we laugh at how angry we both are/were.  He forgets/is not concerned/didn't hear me/denies/distracts/I don't know what he does but he has not been sick to death about our conversation like I have been.  Here is what I have learned about that.  You don't have to worry too much about your actions/words to them because an ADDer is ready and willing to forgive and forget.  Not because they owe you some forgiveness as you have forgiven so much (because they don't keep a record of past behavior) but because they did not spend a long time in the dark trenches of unhappiness and fear that you did.  They moved on from the conversation immediately after it was over and are already thinking of other non-related things.  I sometimes wonder how it came to be that we stayed married so long.  One of the reasons is that he did not let my angry trantrum words forever stick in his head like I have his actions and words in my head.   I have a LOOOOOONG laundry list of his past transgressions.  His brain doesn't carry things like that around - there is no room for that so he uses humor and denial to reflect it all.  Again, pardon me for expressing what I THINK is going on in his mind and feel free to correct me.  He doesn't share feelings or thoughts so I am trying to guess what is going on in his mind.  It has seemed he just doesn't care.  Now I know that he can't.  He must self-preserve using his tools of denial, distraction and delusion.