I have worked too hard for too many years. DH works enough to "get by and have fun". I have supported and tried to help him and given to him and our children. DH just wants to have fun and takes it easy and uses his time and energy to soothe and take care of himself. I look around and see this is happening all around me. There is one diva/fun loving/devil-may-care spouse and one who holds it all together with commitment and work. It seems that the fun one is truly happier than the worker and the worker resents the freeloader. Yet the freeloader gets rewarded again and again. I feel like everything I learned throughout my life is topsy turvy. I was taught that diligence and hard work would pay off and that being irresponsible and lazy would be a person's ruin and shame. This is not what I see happening at the end of a long marriage. Anyone have any comments on this link which says that if you worry about things, those bad things will come true and that if you focus on just being a positive thinker, things will fall into place - law of attraction? I am so disheartened. I feel my whole life has been given to dh for him to live without working too hard. I feel like a failure. I feel like a gave and gave...as I was taught. And now it seems that the way to be happy is to know what you want and take it.....the new religion/philosophy? Because giving of myself now does not feel good to me anymore. I am like the Velveteen Rabbit - played with and old and tattered and unappreciated and used up and empty. I know this is not an ADD topic, but you all seem like nearly my best confidants....I am just unloading from a very dark place this morning.