Totally Exhausted

My husband was diagnosed with ADD as a child. He was medicated for a while as a child but has not taken medication since he was about 11 years old. The reason I am posting this is because I need help. We have been married 6 years and I am beside myself trying to get him to engage in particiapting in homelife. My main concerns are:
a) Helping with chores around the house
b) Engaging with his two young boys

I work full time, take care of most, if not all, daily tasks related to raising two boys (1 years old and 4 years old), manage the finances and take care of most all household chores (he takes out the trash (most of the time) and walks the dog). I am completely and utterly exhausted. I am angry a lot of the time. We have had many many arguments about household chores and at this point I don't even ask him to help out anymore because he immediately gets defensive and it ends in an argument so I suck it upo and try to get through my day.

He is obsessed with college football and chat boards related to college football. I dread football season as his disengagement in household life gets much worse during this time.

I need help trying to resolve this. Will it always be like this? How do I get him to see that I am headed for a nervous breakdown? As it is my father is terminally ill which has added even more stress to what I am dealing with being married to someone with ADD. I need help! He is a caring father, provides for his family but is switched off when it comes to running a home and parenting.