The toxic family that surrounds the ADHDer


I was wondering how common it is for ADHDrs to have extremely toxic families. My spouse has a mother who is bipolar. Who has periodic suicidal flip-outs, gossips extensively, and airs dirty laundry like it's her full time job. She is untreated and undiagnosed, but has every symptom. She has an ego so massive, constantly victimizes herself and wouldn't be caught dead apologizing. 

The father was abusive and neglectful, and addicted to meth. I mean, how toxic can it get? 

At times, I truly pity the circumstances that my spouse grew up in. But I also find toxic patterns in him too, where he has learned that being suicidal is the only way to get any affection or care from his family. I find it quite unsettling actually, and am afraid of his mother. Overbearing, anxious, critical, and very dependent on others for her identity. It's creepy, actually. 


Anyone else seen anything like this?