I'm a happily married adult ADDer who went undiagnosed until I was 46 years old, some 15 years into my second marriage. That was 15 years ago and the memory of how that positive diagnosis felt is still vivid. Relief? No. Not even close. Joy? Sorry, No. Disappointment? Well. We're getting warm now. I had suspected that ADD might have been behind the struggles with procrastination and time management that had plagued me since my childhood, but I had always entertained the hope that someday I would be able to find a way to not be that way. That hope evaporated the day my diagnosis came in. It was my fault all along. I was a misfire. There would be no ways around it for me to discover. I was looking to that diagnosis to free me but instead it broke my heart. But that was then, this is now. I'm still a miswire, and as powerful as a well-regulated diet of Concerta with an anti-anxiety chaser can be, it still has no effect whatsoever on my inability to feel time moving around me, but the disappointment has finally faded.
Oh yeah (squirrel!!)-- did I mention that I was happily married? Well, I am and when my lights finally came back on, she was still here. We all know how difficult we can make things for people we really care about. I did my best, and in the beginning she had a really hard time understanding how this guy she loved so much could be such an ass, and was not shy about sharing her feelings. But apparently she was so sure that she was right in choosing me over all the other guys who were in orbit around her, instead of bailing she started reading, and one day I came home to her sitting in the middle of a pile of paperbacks and magazines. She looked up at me and said: "I owe you such an apology-- you really are this way, aren't you?". I sat down with her and we started talking and haven't gotten close to stopping yet. But golly, Robert, that's all well and good, but is there a point to be shared here? Well, Yes there is. I kind of skipped over the part where we each had to step off of the bridge railing and let the bungee cord do its job, and that was really the most important part. A relationship with a card-carrying adult ADDer is hard work for both parties, but it will be the best ride you ever took as long as you both figure out how to respect and trust each other as deeply as you respect and trust the bungee cord.
Wow. I feel 40 pounds lighter now. Thanks for listening!