Trying to cope...Advice Needed

I honestly don't what to write so I'll just tell my story briefly and hope someone here can offer me some suggestions and helpful ways to cope. Well I have been married for two years to a man I believe has ADD/ADHD. I am not qualified to diagnose him but I have done significant research on the subject and I couldn't find one symptom he does not possess and it is driving me nuts. We are a young couple I am 27 and he is 25 with a 4 year old child. I thought that a lot of his issues were due to immaturity but believe that there is some underlying issues. 
When we first met he wasn't the neatest, clean, and most organized person but I thought that was because he was just use to being a single male. But then I started noticing how he cant seem to focus when we are having basic conversations, understand simple concepts, and he cant keep quiet long enough to allow me to finish speaking my thoughts before he interrupts me and starts responding to something he thought I was going to say and he is usually wrong. Any task I ask him to do no matter what it is cleaning the kitchen, running errands, hanging up clothes are all usually done half a##. The other day I asked him to clean the kitchen, and when I go in there the counter is not wiped off and there is a pan, cup, plate, and spoon in the sink. When I ask him why didn't he just finish those four dishes he tells me I'm always nagging, I'm petty, and in the middle of his rant gave me two reasons why he didn't wash them which were he forgot and he was tired.  I keep all my stuff nicely organized and know where all of my stuff is, he will use my belongings wont put them back where he found them and then when I go use them I cant find my stuff and neither can he. Anything I have a problem with results into me being a nag and I don't know how to let go of little stuff. I am very angry, tired and fed up, however I'm not ready to give up because I love him, my daughter loves him, and we sometimes have very good times together that make me feel like there is hope. On the other hand I feel like I need to be on drugs to deal with him. I have read some other stories on here and it is nice to know I am not alone. We have a therapy session coming soon and I really hope it helps because I am holding on to this by a thread.

Hang in there. Have you

Hang in there.

Have you mentioned to him that you think he might be ADHD? I was the one who did the research when I suspected my hubby was ADHD. He was so relieved when he was diagnosed with it. Of course eventually they go through a grieving process, but over all, my hubby was happy to know that he just wasn't a weirdo!

All of the things that you mention are common issues in ADHD marriages. If he is willing to be diagnosed and will either take medication or learn ways to cope, things will get better. It may take some time, but they will. My hubby takes his meds sporadically but he's learned ways to cope, for which I am super proud of him. He still does "mess up" but knowing that he loves me and wants to work to make our marriage better makes all the difference. We've been in counseling for 14 months and will most likely continue to do so indefinitely.

Instead of "nagging" him in the moment, have you ever sat down with him and explained that when he doesn't finish a task, it makes you feel unloved? I had to do that with my hubby. It never occurred to him that not picking up after himself would make me feel that way. As for half-assing...well that's subjective. What's good enough for him is not good enough for you, so you guys best hash out a compromise. I come from a super perfectionist background where my mom would assign chores and then wouldn't like how I performed them. Either be grateful that I did it or fuss because I didn't do it your way? Hmmm...what's the better option? I promised myself that I wouldn't ever do that. And I don't. Granted, he only picks up his dirty dishes and puts them in the sink and I wash the dishes, but you know? It's not worth arguing about and it's not like he fusses at me for letting the dishes pile up or anything. I'm in general not much of a cleaner, so I don't expect him to be either. Marriage is about compromise and flexibility.

Best of luck to you.