Trying to learn more

I have been watching YouTube sessions with PhD. Russell Barkely.  I am saddened by the lack of knowledge we had in our family and in our culture about ADD.  How impatient I had been all these years not realizing there was something different in my dh's and maybe my son's brains.  I wrote in my journal 15 years ago that everyone stopped talking in our home.  I remember being saddened and also upset that no one talked or shared.  I didn't know what was going on.  I didn't understand why we could not talk about goals, decisions, agreements. It seemed to be a family that refused to connect or plan or cooperate. Or to work on solutions to challenges or problems. There was no leader and when I tried to lead, I was met with resentment or name calling.   Everyone doing their own thing.  It felt like it was manipulative and mean-spirited to keep to themselves and not share their thoughts, feelings and lives with me. It seemed there was no cooperation. I didn't know.  I didn't understand.  There is so much learning to do.  Even though, it has been lonely and frustrating to all of us.