Trying Not to Find ADHD in Everyone

I have been a member of this website for a while now and continue to visit regularly even though I am no longer with my ADHD partner. The main reason I continue to come here is because I believe this is a supportive community full of strong, strong people who work so hard everyday to make the sometimes impossible, possible. I come here because you all provide me with a certain comfort and understanding that is hard for others to grasp that have not dealt with the relationship issues we have.

With this said, I am having a hard time not finding ADHD attributes in each new person I date. See, after a long time I am back in the dating world and my biggest fear is falling in love yet again with someone with ADHD. On it's face I know that comment sounds harsh but it's actually a negative statement against me, not my ex-ADHDer. What I learned from my ex is that even though I am strong, I am not strong enough to be a good support system for someone trying to overcome obstacles they may have with ADHD. However, I will say ex-ADHDer had an extreme case. He was hyperactive and inattentive and grew up in a household that only fostered these traits to their upmost negative. Even though I tried my hardest to be a support system for him he, at the end of the day, never fully grasped how big the "problem" was in the first place.

Back to my point. I have met a few men and if I think I may like them even a little bit, I start looking for ADHD traits. You know, oh they always seem to be 5 minutes late, they must have ADHD. Or it's taking them so long to call me back, they must have ADHD. I know that most of this comes from my own nutty-ness but I also truly believe that I have more than the average bear of ADHDers in my life (because of my personality).

Now I have met a guy that I could really like but he, just last weekend, moved 4 hours away. I live in Colorado so 4 hours here is a bigger deal than say people who live in a state that have mostly flat land and not a lot of snow. Obviously it will be a challenge on both our parts to make this work. But I am on the ADHD wagon with him. He carriers a lot of traits and in some ways reminds me of my ex. He seems hyperactive and distracted and....etc.

I guess what I am asking all of you is any words of advice you may have...kind of an internet counseling session. It's cheaper this way :) I want to fall in love again, I want to move on with my life. Do any of you have a hard time not seeing ADHD in everyone? Any support or slaps across the head would be great!

Thank you!!