Trying to Save Marriage

My wife and I have been seperated since January. I have ADHD, and it has affected every aspect of our marriage, procrastination, anger, listening,communication, depression, and no stability. We first seperated, and it was going to be a 6 month seperation, and I was ok with that. I needed to continue to improve on myself and she needed to heal with all the things I let her down with. She was in no hurry to get a divorce, and then the first of Feb she all of a sudden said she wanted a divorce. I have learned since then that she has been seeing another man. She has not filed for divorce yet, but I can't get her to go to counseling. She has a lot of anger, and she said she can't forgive me. We have a daughter together that is 3 yrs old, and she has 2 girls in a previous marriage. I understand my wife and why she feels the way she does. I also know that her heart is so hard right now, and I hope and pray it will soften. She has a lot of people telling her that she should divorce me. This is a very difficult situation because I know my wife doesn't understand what I go through everyday and the challenges ADHD has on my daily life. She has never accepted my ADHD, and I never did until about 2 months ago. I thought that I would be fine, but the struggles comtinued. I will never make excuses for my ADHD, but I know that our marriage can be saved with a lot of work. I have been improving with acceptance of ADHD, couensiling, coaching, and God. I don't know that she see's improrovements, because she never says anything. The relationship she has is affecting her going to couensiling, and it has been the big reason why she wants a divorce. I need help and I am open for suggestions. I love my wife more than anything, and I love the girls. I have forgiven myself and her for my past failures. I just pray that her heart will soften and she will be open to couensiling. Thank You