Turning the Corner

I'm turning a corner. This is a great site. For a while, it feels great to VENT, to get it out of your system all the things that are boiling inside and you don't say to family or friends.  It is great to have this place where you can be heard and understood. It is a great place to compare notes to weigh in to see if you are crazy or off base.  It is a great place to learn about the descriptions of relationships going through similar things and get some answers about WHY things are so challenging and what can be done. I thank everyone who has been a witness to my frustrations and confusions and the inside information I have learned from everyone.  I will continue to VENT, or ask questions or give support here as I keep learning. It is easier to see the truth about your life when others are writing about theirs (your mirrors).  I am accepting that whether my DH has ADD or not is not the issue for me.  What is the issue is that my DH does not love me or care.  I am not even a person to him. I am looking for other online sites that help me be stronger on the inside.  I want to have passion about things.  The only way to be loved is if you love yourself and can be happy within yourself. I may have to let go of everything that I have built to be able to find footing and confidence in myself again. I am focusing on my own faults and strength.  The weakness that hurts my relationships is that I guess I have learned to stay in the background too often.  I have let others bear the burden to be the Life and Love of the party while I am in the back fretting and cooking, resenting, cleaning and planning.  I get to take my turn to be the Life of the party sometimes too and I wasn't doing that. I get to find my energy to put myself out there for people to have the opportunity to love me.  My goal is to build on my strength and intuition within.  To not be afraid to fail, or succeed or to make a fool of myself.  To not rely on others for my happiness.  If anyone has a group or online site like that, please let me know. So far I found prayer, meditation, counting my blessings, helping others, verbalabuse.com and the books of Patricia Evans to be very helpful. 

What is the next step after acceptance!

As a nonADD spouse, first step is learning about it.  Second is accepting it.  Third is understanding our own part in it.  Fourth is gathering support. Why do these steps take so long?

Pbartender's picture

I wish I knew...

I wish I knew...  If you find a way to speed them up, let me know.  ;)

 

Pb.