Is the TV his new best friend/ lover?

I used to love watching TV and it was one of the things me and hubby have in common. We've been married 14 years. Early in our marriage. We used to live to watch TV together. But I've come to realize it seems to be the thing he's closest too. I used to suggest doing other things with our time. Like board games. He did play a couple of times with me  but he was miserable doing it. The last time I suggested it. I had set up a table with 2 cups of hot chocolate & whipped cream and set up a game of backgammon. It looked so inviting too. When I called him over he was very insistant that he didn't want to play. Board games are boring! I tried pleading but he wouldn't budge. I finally threw the hot cocoa down the drain and just went to our room frustrated and upset. I gave up and just went along watching shows and movies. What else can we do. I feel as though I'm the third wheel. I would watch shows & movies with him, even ones I didn't care to watch just to go along and keep the peace. Never mind him watching what I want. I'd have to compromise watching either stuff we both liked or stuff he liked. It feels like he has a new best friend and wants me along to go and do all the stuff they like to do. We recently canceled cable & phone because of our finances and just have internet. We have Roku to watch Hulu. Forget about it! now he's able to watch and fall in love with old shows he grew up with all over again. And countless number of others. I just gave up and let him have his time with his new friend. Sadly it's feeling more and more like were losing "us". I've recently been formally diagnosed and am on medication for ADD (Concerta). It's helped me so much in getting more done around the house and with my kids. And has also improved my mood. I feel bored watching TV. And busy myself finally doing stuff around the house and spending more time with our kids.  It's helping me adapt. But I feel like were living two separate lives. Hubby does have ADHD. He used to take Ritalin as a child and fits all the symptoms in the checklists! I figure maybe getting treated might help. I asked him about it. He says Ritalin didn't work. I wish he would get help but he'll have to decide to want to do it on his own I guess. Forget about having deep meaningful discussions. It seems the most conversation we have his "how was your day" and daily mundane things.

As for the TV issue I've spoken to him about it several times, but he feels like I'm making a big deal about it. He's happy in his own world. I want to be a part of it but not as a spectator. So I guess I'll just get along in mine and enjoy the little time we have together when he's not with his best friend :(

I feel for you

I feel for you because I have a similar problem.  My husband also watches a ton of TV.  He isn't working, he has spent about 2/3 of this year unemployed, and he spends about 6-8 hours a day watching TV.  He stays up until 1:00-2:00am watching then he sleeps until 9:30 or 10:00.  I wake up to dishes in the sink and a messy living room that I have to clean up before I go to work.  I've talked to him about how unfair I feel this is.  If he can spend that much time in front of the TV why can't he do a few dishes so I don't have to do them in the morning?  His answer is that he is too tired and he will do them in the morning.  But if I leave them in the sink for him I usually come home from work and they are still there.  I've started hating TV and I go to bed early and read instead of watching with him like I used too.  He complains that I don't want to spend time with him and says I act like a 70 year old by going to bed so early, but frankly I'm exhausted.  I work full time and I do everything around the house.  I feel like his sugar mama and his maid all rolled into one!  I always thought the "H" in ADHD stood for hyperactive but for my husband the "H" should be a "L" standing for Lazy!!!  And it makes it even worse that we are barely making it financially and our house needs tons of work.  I feel so alone in life.

I wish I had some good advice for, maybe somebody else will, but I sure do understand the way you feel.

Laurie