I'd like to hear everyones thoughts on an ultimatum for my ADHD husband to go with me to marital counseling. I'm a pretty even tempered, logical person and I've done a lot of reading on the subject and about relationships. I have started going to counseling myself and it became evident really quickly that things are not going to go anywhere with just me trying to influence our commun ication dynamics. I don't mean to phrase it "come with me or else" I would like to simply ask if he will join me. If he refuses I want to move out. Is this too much of a shock factor that would make things worse? He is not diagnosed and he is not willing to find out for sure. I am not going to ask for that; I want to improve our communication as a goal. I just feel like my very presence and damage control effort are making it too easy to stay in the place he is with me taking care of the important things. (I learned quickly not to do everything!) There are no consequences for him as he contiues to avoid the subject. We are both miserable. I also struggle with the moral value. Is it too controlling or manipulative of me? I would like to hear from both ADHD and non. Thanks.