On Tuesday my daughter had a very important accomplishment at school and was bursting to talk about it at the day's end (she is 11). My husband/her dad picked her up that day and was distracted by something else. He did not listen to what she was saying or treat it/her as his priority. Much like I have been, my daughter has been hurt by his inattention too many times. This time, she decided she would not speak to him. This lasted 3 days. She did not speak even a word no matter how hard my husband tried to get her to talk. I tried to stay out of it because past efforts have shown me that I can't improve their relationship. And honestly, I secretly admired her strength as the days went on. I think she taught me something.
So last night she forgave him, and while I am glad, this morning I tried to talk to him about why she did what she did. I explained how hurt she was and how we feel when he doesn't listen or prioritize us. I said that I want them to have a good relationship and I wanted him to understand what she was trying to tell him by not speaking to him for three days because next time she may not relent.
But he doesn't see it. In his mind he was justified and she is too sensitive/too emotional/holds a grudge too long. And I am not surprised, just disappointed as usual. He said he does not have ADHD and is not distracted. I am really just venting here, but what is it?? Total denial or a true inability to see himself clearly? What will it take? Losing his marriage and daughter? Because he is going to. And even when he does, I feel strongly that he will blame everyone else. It breaks my heart.
Just needed to vent I guess. Some days it is so hard to watch this play out. :'(