How is  it possible to be married to an unreliable adhd spouse?

If he is unreliable, how can I have long lasting satisfying marriage?

If I am adjusting to meet all his adhd needs, what happens to my needs? Who am I supposed to rely on?

After reading through many posts, it seems like the advice is ... accept it and deal with it your entire life, or don't and get a divorce.

The advice says to stop having expectations... but how can i not have any expectations of my husband? How can I do that? He certainly has them for me that I have to meet.

Who is looking out for me? who is going to give me the support i need? 

Please help :(