Submitted by julie sharp on 10/29/2014.
My husband has never been treated for his ADHD. There for he never writes anything down and consequently never remembers anything. He is not willing to try. When he is questioned he just remains silent or becomes aggressive. What am I meant to do?
I am in a wheelchair you have no choice but to book transport 24 hours in advance you cannot wait til the day and decide to travel. You have to plan in advance. This seems impossible for my husband. I know it untreated ADHD but how can I cope with his spontaneous if the world want wheelchairs to book in advance?!
I just read your short little post...
Submitted by c ur self on
Since you know all of this about your husband...Then you know, you must do all the reservation work...
That way the man who want write anything down and can't remember well...who only responds w/ silence or aggression doesn't come into the equation....
Yes I can do all the advanced
Submitted by julie sharp on
Julie, this does sound
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Julie, this does sound extremely frustrating. Is the situation that both of you are allowed to use the transportation services and that your husband seems unable to anticipate needing them until the "day of," when it's too late to book them?
Hi Rosered, yes both of us
Submitted by julie sharp on
Hi Rosered, yes both of us
Submitted by julie sharp on
Who else knows?
Submitted by sunlight on
Julie, who else knows the situation you are in besides Social Services (who say he should do his part). You mention no friends or family, but do your doctors know that you have problems at home? Is it possible for one of your doctors to say to him that for your health you need to have the ability to get out of the house regularly? It seems you are very isolated, is there anyone who could speak to him on your behalf or could you attempt to schedule a trip at a fixed interval and have someone from outside the home check whether it took place. I am guessing you can only get to medical appts with his assistance, is that right?
Thankfully medical
Submitted by julie sharp on
I understand....
Submitted by c ur self on
I understand completely...And I do feel for you...But, you seem like a rational wise person, who see's the reality of life...You c ur self, and all that entails...and you see your husband's reality also...You live with it daily...So, when he comes up with something like I want to go now! You should expect it, just like many of us do, and not let your emotions fall apart...He may have adhd, but, he knows his wife is limited by the wheel chair, he see it everyday...So what can you do at this point and remain peaceful and calm....Nothing except maybe smile at him and say...Well lean over here and kiss me goodbye...You and I letting our emotions eat us up because our spouses do not care enough about their intrusive life style to try and help themselves is not our problem...But, I've made it my problem in the past (and still do to often) by allowing myself to engage this behavior like I would a 6 year old, with a desire to change what is reality. It's just been emotional death. So here's my options... #1) Live responsibly, and in many cases like she doesn't exist when the behaviors you are stating are active. What does continually engaging denial make us?....Option 2) Or Leave!
The third option which I stated about above, engage it, bitching about it, getting angry and pissed off that anyone could possibly live so disrespectful and unconcerned...And then stand up and boldly justify it...LOL....
It was an option and more times than not the reality in this house for several years....It's loosing its hold thank the Lord!!!...And the sooner we all cut that option out of the equations...the sooner we will learn to accept the reality of many adhd minds...treated or untreated...It's doesn't go away!....
And when acceptance becomes our reality concerning our adhd mates...only then can we put to death the fear that drives option 3. And at that point we can peacefully and clearly see if option 1 or option 2 is going to be our reality....Bless you! Sorry my first post up set you...
Unfortunately I have not yet
Submitted by julie sharp on