My wife and I have not been able to come up with a verbal cue that works for me to let my wife know when I find myself not listening to her anymore in a conversation because she is going into more detail than I can take in. She hasn't been able to suggest anything, and whatever I suggest she doesn't seem to like. I'd love to hear from people with and people without ADHD to hear what you have found that works.
Also - I'd like to ask - do you use these cues/words only when it's the two of you, or also when you are with others?
We've tried using a physical cue of my touching her on the leg under the table when we are with others. We had agreed that I would do that when I sense that others have lost interest in what she is saying judged by their non-verbal cues, or even their verbal attempt to change the topic. But when I have tried to use it, she still gets upset, not sensing that she HAS gone on too long, and so thinking that I am being critical or judgmental, "cutting her off too soon." My way of dealing with that is to decide to give her back the responsibility of monitoring for herself.
We have not been able to come up with a verbal cue at all.