On the verge of giving up

I just can't deal any more. I got no Christmas present at all, not even a card. For my birthday in early December, he did take me out to dinner and bought me a cell phone. BUT, he bought one I can't use and lost the receipt so we can't return it (might as well have set fire to a $50 bill).

In July, I told him I needed him to help me save up $1500 so I could have surgery. That is the co-pay and it has to be paid up front.  I told him I need to have the surgery completed before I can work in my chosen career. (He disputes that assessment but I  believe no one will hire me with the problem untreated. I know I won't be able to get it done if I do get a job because I wouldn't be able to take off that much time.) I just graduated but I can't look for a job as it hasn't been done. Although I worked 2 jobs for 2 1/2 years, he refuses to do the same for me.

I asked him to consider coaching or Cognitive Behavior Therapy. He says his boss (mental health agency) never heard of that for ADD so he won't even consider it. Apparently, I'm just supposed to accept all his behaviors exactly how they are with no changes ever, but I'm supposed to stop being angry with him for all the problems he causes.

We have no heat and it has been pretty cold this week. It's hard for me to type for very long. Last night, I told him that I want to move in with my daughter, who can afford to heat her house. He did not respond except to complain about the headache he has.

When he decided not to work, I supported him. When he needed medical things, he got them, even though he wasn't working and my job had no medical insurance. How do I avoid feeling that he doesn't love me when he won't do the same for me? Or should I just give up?

I would do just exactly what

I would do just exactly what you said..move in with your daughter. Could you get a part time job and save up the $1500 in a month or two and get the surgery and then once you have recovered start looking for work in your field? Honestly, if you have options at this point, then I would exercise those options and let him sit in the freezing house alone. When will enough be enough, lady?

He doesn't care about the heat

HE drives around all day from one client's house to the next. His car is heated and most of their houses are too. When he comes home he just sits in the bedroom near the space heater. He does not understand how this affects me, who has to work throughout the house, or else he just doesn't care.

What is so frustrating is that he has no intention of changing anything. He thinks that because he works after he didn't for so long, that he's wonderful and I shouldn't expect anything else from him. I don't think he will ever change a thing.

Well he is wrong. Working

Well he is wrong. Working isn't enough. It is your job to make him understand that...and leave if he refuses to step up to the plate. The heat, or lack there of, might not bother him, but I bet you packing and leaving his rear end sitting alone by the heater would matter. Tell him you're leaving, you'll be back when he has $1500 in the bank for your surgery.

I agree with SherriW - it is

I agree with SherriW - it is time to take charge of your life and start working your options.  Go to your daughters house. Look into other ways to get the 1500. you need for the surgery. Maybe the hospital will work out a 50% down and payments or maybe a personal loan or a extra job.  In additon to this, you may begin to realize that you are happier working for you and not having to work around your husband. At the very least, you deserve to take care of yourself and that includes having heat in your home.