If I could get some insight here on my situation that would be great. Sometimes...it's just adhd..and sometimes...i wonder if it's just someone who is just selfish and anti-social.. that seems harsh but the following should explain everything. I don't know what to do now. I'm trying to weather through this....but stupid things keep happening and when it effects finances...what do you do??? that is what I need suggestions on. I already am taking over the utilities.
I have read several of the posts over the months here but not all of them. I see a theme of people who have add or adhd...who do not pay attention to detail and the non add/adhd partner feeling overwhelmed and/or ignored/unloved, etc. Right now I am more in the category of feeling overwhelmed. my husband has adhd and takes medicine for this. He still struggles. He can be very impulsive, doesn't think ahead as a rule, is generally disorganized, and even though he is good with money...he is very bad with practical matters of paying the pills on time. (too many times utilities have been shut off...and he has been clueless as to why?!!) yesterday the check book was in the red by 200 dollars....and he didn't know why... He isn't an addict, etc. We have 80 some accounts and 3 houses... right now it's overwhelming.... With ADHD...the details are lost to him...yet...
He has a high energy job in corporate sales handling multiple million dollar accounts. So I resent that he can keep charts at work keeping all this organized and yet fails to do this at home, yet he complains all the time his boss micro-manages him...so who knows what really goes on their.
This year we had a sheriff at the house and almost lost it. his impulsive decision last year over a salary negotation almost took away our house. What was worse was I told him not to take that salary offer. He makes so much more than me...and we just couldn't keep up with the morgage payments. He told me he made that decision 7 months after. (at the time I was very sick and had to be hospitalized...when I got better he told me...) I still feel betrayed.
Like I said, I'm taking over the utilities and checking up to make sure he paid this and that..(it's putting me in a parenting role) it's not good. however, if I don't do this...than stuff gets shut off. I"m overwhelmed and starting to loose it myself. I woke up at 4 something this morning sick to my stomach working about the bills and if he is handling them right. Cause so many times he drops the ball. I'm so resentful but mostly scared. I don't sleep well and we argue constanly now about this. I'm loosing so much respect and trust with him. We even talk of divorce.