Vicious Cycle

I have upset my wife for what seems to be the umpteenth time. She came out to speak to me and I was playing a game on my phone. I realized too late that I wasn't paying attention, but by then all hell had broken loose. I made the mistake of trying to tell her that she needed to tell me when I was distracted, but I did so out of frustration and this only made things worse. Now she's bringing up all the ways I've wronged her in the past and I don't know how to get us to move forward. I am so in love with my wife but I don't know how to just translate this love into an actionable plan to move us forward.