I have been working on me.   Something many of us have in common on this site is that WE ARE FRUSTRATED!  I have been doing some work on my attitude and trying to get my self back.  It has to do with powerlessness. I found this on a site and it says what I am focusing on right now and it is helping me.  I am ashamed I did not realize this earlier in my life.  I have cried too much and sat in pain too much in my life. Here is an excerpt:

 The Victim Role

...Victims feel powerless and at the mercy of life’s events and may avoid taking responsibility for their actions, finding it easier to blame others or their circumstances.

When challenges arise, the ego wants to minimize or manage the pain caused by not having life go as it wishes. For the person with a victim mentality, wanting their situation to be different than it is causes perpetual suffering. This suffering is the heart of the victim mentality and belief that they will never have what they want. Consequently Victims have difficulty answering the question of “What do I want?” and would often feel the only option is to sit on the sideline of life, criticizing and complaining. The main focus for the person who is operating from a Victim Orientation is on what they don’t want or don’t like.

It is common to feel anger and resistance from Victims. They are unhappy with life’s circumstances and, because they feel powerless, they can be full of self-pity. Hopelessness is a prevalent inner state. These feelings can create a strange sense of entitlement to what they don’t have.   They can seek sympathy by telling exaggerated stories about their pain of bad deeds they committed toward others. Their criticism of others can turn inward and they can become their own worst persecutor.

I was taught to be a selfless victim.  Now I am teaching myself to own my life and not be afraid to own my destiny.