Waiting, and trying to hold on

I came across the book, and likewise this site after walking away, yet again, in a flurry of frustration with my husband. I am desperate to make us good again. I miss us! 

He doesn't even have an official diagnosis yet, we've met with our Dr and have an appointment for an eval by a psych, however, after reading the book and clicking through these forums, and my experience with my 8 year old with ADHD, there I no question in my mind. 

It was brought to my attention to explore the option when, due to distraction, he made a mistake that could have taken the life of my 3 year. I thank God every day that it all turned out okay, but now I can't shake it and everything he forgets, loses, etc sends me straight over the edge! 

I need all of your best tips for getting to, and through to a level, good spot, because i know it will take time after his appointment and i absolutely do not like the person i have become with my husband, but I'm also just so so exhausted of being the "caretaker" as well!