How long do I wait?
My DH is the ADHD spouse. He started going to therapy last Nov/Dec and has finally been going regularly for several months. He is seeing a psychiatrist and is on meds (although that's a whole 'nother story about his resistance to medication, but I digress).
I feel like nothing is changing. His behavior isn't that much different. I am running out of patience. I feel totally unloved and unappreciated. I feel like I put out so much in support of him and get very very little in return.
Would it be a good idea for me to call his therapist? I feel like DH is not accountable to anyone. I am not sure that he grasps how insidious his ADHD is and how much it effects our relationship. DH has told me that his ADHD is not the main focus of his therapy. Would it be inappropriate of me to call his therapist and insist that it should be?
We were going to marriage counseling but stopped at his request. It seemed like a good idea at the time because he said he was incapable of doing anything the marriage counselor asked of him. I was glad that he finally had some insight and did I agreed with him. Nothing was changing in our relationship and scheduling appointments was logistically challenging. We were just spinning our wheels.
True, honest communication with him is very difficult because he is always negative and makes excuses and he does not listen. Or, I should say, he listens, but does not HEAR me.
I know that I cannot change everything myself, but this season of waiting is driving me to insanity. Where do I take it from here? I want to save my marriage but we've been working on things for about a year now with little progress.
Please don't suggest I pick up another book to read or try to be more understanding. I am so busy picking up all the slack that I don't have time to read and my understanding has reached a breaking point.