I am seeking guidance on a situation that I feel many of you are familiar with. I am a 41 year old woman diagnosed with ADHD married to a non-ADHD husband. I have had ADHD all my life but just (re)started meds (Elvanse) a about a month ago. I am still adjusting.
My husband and I had a terrible fall out last night, it tore me to pieces and yet it woke me up. I learned that for the last six months, he has felt that our marriage has been heading downhill. This was news to me - and he claimed that it was obvious it was the case. Nonetheless, my heart has been broken to pieces and he further stated that he doesn't love me as much anymore due to my neglect of him. He made me realize that I have been neglecting him and not spending any time with him. I didn't realise it until he informed me last night. Words of divorce were thrown around and it got UGLY. Bottom line is that we cannot communicate effectively but we have agreed (due to our deep love for each other) to take this forward 120%. The challenge is that by the time he comes home from work, my medication has worn off and I am not able to be focused etc. My ADHD symptoms are in full force so thinking goes out the door.
My question to all of you is this : what are some good next steps? We are planning on having a heart to heart tomorrow evening to discuss a solution to this. I would like to create a *plan* together but I also want to get your feedback on what types of things work (communication exercises etc.). He simply wants more time with me and I am so happy to give that to him. I simply want us to communicate properly and understand each other. This is a THE TURNING POINT. I haven't taken the time to include all the messy details. But if you have any ideas - suggestions advice - I would be so eager and appreciative to hear.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.