I cannot believe, the two of us kind hearted, compassionate, intelligent people are where we are today! Our fights are downright mentally and emotionally abusive! We lack respect for one another and the defensiveness on my ADD partners part is freakin' ridiculous! The communication is so lacking its a wonder we haven't seriously lost it by this point.
And now a wonderful note sent to me by my awesome neighbor who WAS a good friend:
"i know it's not my business, but since i clearly hear you guys in the hallway or from my bathroom.... are you seriously going to move in to another place with this guy? all you guys do is fight and bitch and complain... you're a nice girl and i think you need to be with someone who will coexist with you peacefully.
and i'm done."
I am so incredibly embarrassed by this and just want to crawl under a rock and die! It's true, I USED to be a nice girl who could coexist with someone peacefully but not anymore! I'm totally sick of it and there is no one to help us in this friggin city! :(
I love my ADD partner very much but I just feel like giving up! I can't stand that this f'ing relationship is totally destroying others view of me now! What the hell! What is wrong with me for staying in this crap? I'm trying so hard by coming on these websites, reading books, etc, "educating" myself but what good is it if I'm doing it all by myself???
I've never had somebody TRY to fight me on EVERYTHING little thing! Even when I pep talk myself into trying NOT to fight back... he still sucks me in! Oh my god! I can't handle this...
I'm so upset.