I'm the non-spouse. It's been 11 years, most of which seem to have been hell. Again last night we had our every few months argument about the same old stuff. I've gotten my doctor to put me on welbutrin and had him up the dose at least once. She has even started talking about "separating our stuff." I'm 52, I changed my whole life to be with her. She's on Vyvanse and just as irritable as before. I'm massively overweight and she has been losing weight and is slim again. I guess at this point all options are on the table. The dog gets more attention than I do. God, I don't want to move again, don't want to start over. I'm the last thing on her list and she won't even touch me anymore. I don't really have any questions, I just want someone to know that I am out here.
Well I am still desperate
Submitted by Jasper on 05/20/2019.
We see you, Jasper
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
Hi Jasper. I am so sorry you have come to such a desperate point in your marriage. I have been there, too, and in many ways, I am still there. I know how lonely it feels to be in a marriage like this and how absolutely no one around you can comprehend what daily life is like for you, isolating you even further. I hope you will keep coming back to post and read here. It has helped me to connect to a community of people who "get it" instantly.
Submitted by Jasper on
Submitted by Jasper on
We had this horrible argument Sunday night and now I feel that our relationship is on rocky ground. I feel like the whole world is spinning and I don't know where/when/how it will stop.
World is spinning
Submitted by Angie_H on
I feel bad that you are going through such a tough time. What can you do to calm and comfort yourself so that you can think clearly? Then, can you assess what is in your power to change? Do you know what you want from the relationship? Is that realistic?
I knew what I wanted, and for years my husband was not capable of showing me the love that I so desperately wanted from him. With regrets, I decided to divorce him. While we were separated, he worked on changing, and I did not know it.
We have a happy marriage now, but you must know that is not always possible. Please take care of yourself, and see if you can keep things peaceful at home so you are not in such a bad situation. Upheaval keeps us from thinking clearly and making good decisions.
All the best,
Submitted by c ur self on
There isn't much you or I will ever do about our wives refusal to be a wife....But there is ton's we can do about living a quality life, searching out our own Peace and Joy...But its up to you and me!...I'm miserable only when I over focus on what she isn't....Instead of being thankful for the beauty and blessings of each day, that God blesses me with....My simple suggestion is to ignore her dysfunctional life (NO HUMAN can do anything about her pursuits)...And work on the things you would like to change about Jasper....This is my advice to myself each day....
I'm massively overweight
Submitted by repeat that please on
I was too. One year ago. What a lousy, helpless feeling. I couldn't lose pounds any more no matter what I tried. Was preparing for bariatric surgery and lost a bunch of weight following hospital pre-surgery protocol. Didn't need surgery.
Lean protein first. Always first. Example= Triple Zero yogurt is high in protein and low in carbs- (high percentage of carbs are fibrous.)
Eat every 2 to 3 hours, is a must. Keep the fire going. Drink 64 oz of water daily but not with meals. The snacks, in between meals= eat small portion of protein- like an ounce of nuts -and then fiber.