Well I thought we were getting somewhere....but he quit his meds...

It's funny, I haven't been on this site in quite a while.  I remember someone on here once saying that only people who are miserable come on here...those whose spouse won't get help...etc.  And my husband decided to stop his meds last week and I'm back to being hurt and miserable.  I don't want to be dramatic....meds help him a good bit, but I didn't realize how much until he stopped them.  He's back in his own little world, less sensitive, more rude and mean to me, more impulsive, less self control.  I'm shocked at how much the meds effected him.  Problem is, he's still not 100% convinced he has ADD and has done zero reading/learning on the disorder.  He was taking Adderall and took it for about 6 months.  He was looking things up online about the drug last week and was reading about how certain people were experiencing particular side affects.  Then suddenly, after reading this, he magically had these symptoms, too!  He read how someone was itchy all over when taking Adderall.  When he got off the computer he began scratching himself all over!  And of course hasn't itched since, but claims he has that side affect, among others.  Anyway, he says he doesn't like taking a stimulant.  He told me he will take something else but hasn't done anything about that yet and probably won't-without MUCH prodding from me of course.  I want to find a therapist who's an expert in ADHD and have him go see them.  I don't know how to find one, but we have no money right now for one anyway.  We saw a therapist at the end of last year for a month or 2 but my husband's work got real slow and we ran out of money. 

I hate not "liking" my husband again!  It doesn't help that I just gave birth to our 3rd child last month and I've got the baby blues making me miserable.  I just want my husband back.  I am so overwhelmed with 3 kids, I need him more than ever right now.  It's so hurtful seeing him treat me like this, even though I know it's not all his fault.  Just hurts.