but what about me?

I have read Delivered from Distraction.  It is a great resource in understanding ADHD.  But, here's the thing.  I just read the chapter about "what kind of mate is best".  The problem is, I have been married for 11 years, and I am not the best mate.  I am having a horrible time accepting my constant give, and getting nothing in return.  I'm a go getter, I micromanage, I feel resentment even when I try not to.  I am embarassed when we go to a family get together and he expects to be served and sit on his butt, and do nothing, and escape when he needs to, and all the other things he "needs" to do.  But, I am not the kind of mate that is best.  I've tried to be, but I cannot handle taking care, nurturing, and being sympathetic all the time.  What do I get out of this marriage?  What are my options here?  When is enough is enough?  What do we do now?