What ADD is NOT

ADD does not MAKE someone cheat or be unfaithful. Stats show 50% of men cheat and that may be higher than the stats due to laying about it. Blaming cheating on ADD a is lame cop-out.

ADD is not lying. Lying and keeping secrets is a poor coping strategy of the kind of person who would lie and keep secrets even if they didn’t have ADD. There is a difference between being confused about the facts, being genuinely forgetful and seeing things from a different perspective than outright and deliberate dishonesty. Many ADDers are also terrible liars unless they choose to develop the skill.

ADD is not free loading. ADD does not make you a user. It may cause what can be perceived as laziness (lack of energy and motivation), but a true freeloader who relies on you to do everything for them would still be a selfish lazy bum even if he didn’t have ADD. Many people with ADD can work two jobs and go to college full time, or be single parents of two kids or keep a clean house, medicated or not. ADD is not an excuse for doing nothing, it may contribute but personality and poor relationship dynamics are just as (if not more) to blame.

ADD is not selfishness and a lack of empathy. ADDers are quite capable of empathy and can be very selfless people. Struggling to see someone else’s point of view is not selfishness, refusing to see someone else point of view is. Struggling to see another person’s perspective is ADD, refusing to even try is just plain selfishness and is their personality flaw, not ADD. Struggling to communicate with polish is ADD, deliberately being mean or verbally abusive is not. Someone who is this selfish and unempathetic would be selfish and callous even if they didn't have ADD.

ADD is not poor morals. Poor morals are poor morals.

ADD does not make you an abuser. Someone with ADD who is abusive would probably be abusive if they didn’t have ADD. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or verbal; it is DELIBERATE intimidation or manipulation of another person or an intrusion into another's psyche; the purpose is to control another.

ADD is not fixed in a few weeks or months and the treatment is a life long on-going process.

ADD is not our personality, though it can contribute to expression of that personality.

ADD is never easy, fun or enjoyable to have. 40% of adults with ADD have anxiety, 30% have depression, ADD does not make you care free.

ADD is not a lack of intelligence, though it can affect how that intelligence is used and expressed.

ADD does not make you a "grown child" though some will fall into that sort of relationship pattern. A parent/child relationship is the result of both parties being poor at dealing with the power exchanges in a relationship and ADD is not solely to blame for such a dynamic. ADD can cause an ADD child to be 30% behind other kids in emotional development but this does not infantile adult ADDers unless we are placed in that role.

ADD is not the inability to be respectful or responsible. Though it can make being respectful and responsible a greater challenge.

ADD does not make you addicted to porn or any vice. It may make you somewhat more likely to become addicted to something, as a means of escape, but you have to be the sort of person who would become an addict in the first place, ADD or not.

ADD does not make you not want to be a better person. It makes growing and changing a greater (but not insurmountable) challenge. Fear, lack of self esteem, depression, anxiety, not knowing what to do and being a self jerk are the kinds of things that make you not want to do what is needed to improve yourself. Most people with ADD struggle and fight to improve themselves, though sometime this is a two steps forward and one step back process.