What belongs on the list to measure progress?

My ADHD husband claims he is working hard and is frustrated that I don't give him credit for his accomplishments. He also claims he doesn't want to bother working at this because he has no guarantee I will stay with him after he works so hard.  This last bit seems almost like he is attempting to induce guilt -  however, it is not working. 

I am continually frustrated at things that don't change.  An example, he believes he is not angry all the time  yet I see him angry all the time.

How the heck do we measure the progress?