To start off with, I love someone who deserves someone functional and want to be that person. He's fairly successful but I've never had a job for more than two months in my entire life. I've got dyspraxia (sometimes known as NLD in America), ADHD, joint hypermobility and dyscalculia. When I first started work I often lasted just one day when I started a new job. Over the years I've tried retail work, care work in an elderly people's home, food preparation, bar work, data entry, cleaning, administration and a voluntary graphic design job to see if I could do that. I've tried unpaid work placements, courses and volunteering to see if it would be possible to get enough experience but it's always been the same, I'm told I haven't picked up the skills quickly enough and to a high enough standard.
I'm now working in a clinic as a self employed massage therapist. I don't seem to have any intolerance of work other people might find boring, I because so many simple skills are complicated to me they actually become quite interesting. For instance (if you can believe this) I actually enjoy cleaning. The problem is picking up skills doing tasks quickly and accurately enough, organisation and planning. I was always told it was because it was because of 'motor sequencing' (getting physical actions in the right order) but suspected it was attention. After years of nagging at doctors I found there were things I could do to help myself, thanks to this site so thank you!
After a two year wait I've been prescribed ritalin and have a coach, the techniques and different brain chemistry seem to have been helpful so far. In Britain this is all new but now it's been recognised by the National Health service which means now (as in Holland and Canada) people at the bottom of society can access medication and counselling. If you've been told you're a helpless little thing but there, there, live on welfare forever it's great to find there's something you can do about it. I always thought it's much better for something to be in your hands or even your fault than to be an innocent victim who can't do anything about it. To a certain extent it was the view of some professionals I saw here, and it may be more humane to accept someone has limitations on one level but on another it's very inhumane because it limits the aspirations of that disabled person to improve.
But how much expectation is realistic? I avoided relationships for years so as to never subject anyone to my problems but met my now boyfriend a year ago. He lives a long way away and we'd like to move things forward and spend more time together. I'd love us to be together long term- for life but sometimes wonder if even now I'm being fair even being with him and giving him a hope of a future if it all falls through and I don't manage to keep a full time job. We both hope, but will I succeed? Only time will tell. I could never just abandon him unless he wanted me to go but I don't want to lead him up the garden path. I've been as honest as possible over my condition with him but he still probably doesn't really understand just how challenging I could be to live with. I don't think that's possible till you experience it. I was jittery and on my last hour of ritalin when I wrote the title to this, but the real question I have now is am I being fair?