I often read on this forum, and sometimes feel myself, that the nonADD spouse has to make lots of changes to accommodate the ADD spouse. In fact, I have read on numerous occasions, statements from the nonADD spouse that express frustration that they are making ALL the changes.
Well, this morning, my wife reverted to an old habit - she made a noise that I find really annoying, which she stopped doing months ago. (I had told her it was a really "disgusting" noise, and she agreed, and she worked to change that habit.)
So this morning, when she made the noise, I said, kind of jokingly "I heard that." And she responded, "Oh, sorry. I'm not sure why I did that. I don't do that anymore."
Then she posed a question to me: "Have you had to make any changes for ME?"
Now, I know I have, but I had trouble articulating what they are. The best I could come up with at the moment was "I've had to change the way I talk and the way I ask for things."
I know there are other changes I have had to make as well, but I still am having trouble thinking what they are so that I can articulate them to my wife.
I think it's important to be able to tell her how I have changed, because I think she often feels like SHE is the only one who has had to change. And I understand how she would feel that way, since I frequently point out things that she does or doesn't do that annoy me.
So, I am wondering if some of you nonADD spouses here might share about some of the changes you have made.
I also know that my wife has made lots of changes to accommodate me. Some I see, and some I don't. But when I am frustrated with my wife, I tend to forget that she has already made lots of changes and is still working to make others.
And she doesn't always have an easy time articulating them to me.
So, I was wondering if you ADD spouses would share some of the changes YOU have made.
I think if my wife and I realize that we BOTH are making changes, things wouldn't seem so unbalanced.