What to do?!?!?

The relationship with my spouse has deteriorated to the point that he frequently does not recall what I say (insists I said something that I did not), and also frequently does not recall what he said ("I never said that" and "you are lying"). It is now easier for me to say nothing rather than being accused of attacking him nearly every time I speak. If I am quiet and not talking "I must be angry with him", but if I say anything then I am criticizing him. After near 39 years of marriage, I have attempted multiple ways of dealing with this situation, but this has worn me down to a very thin edge to the point that I want to crawl under my bed and never come out again. His anger is now on a trigger point and he can go from calm to screaming angry in 2 seconds (very scary).

I am having a counseling session (for myself) today, and wonder if I should just pack it in. Spouse insists he wants to work on relationship, but it appears he is only willing to say it and not do the work involved (this happened multiple times over the weekend when he apologize for overreacting to something I said, but then 10 minutes later did the same thing). I realize he is under much work related stress, but I am falling apart. I feel as if I can do all I can to improve the situation, but if he is not willing to even do ANY of the work, then my efforts are really wasted.

He has encumbered our Equity Line to the maximum to save his business, and my name is on the account. Due to the account nearing maturity, the minimum payments will increase dramatically in a few months, and I know his business cannot make those payments in addition to making a contribution to the household. My income will not cover all of the household expenses. I have attempted to discuss this with him over several months, but each time there is a work related emergency that delays the discussion. If I could walk away and take my name off the house and Equity Line, then I would do so. It is simply not worth worrying about what I know he will NOT do. Maybe that is the answer to my question in the beginning.......