What to do?? I'm losing myself........ Help

I think my spouse has something going on...   I married him knowing he was 'high strung'..  I'm calm and go with the flow so it really didn't matter--- maybe opposites attract.  Now 16 years and 3 kids later I'm at my wits end.   He cannot relax, always asks random questions, says random things, gets annoyed when I speak my mind/truth (he wants me to side with him), cannot emotionally/empathize with me, he tends to 'move around a bit' which makes me nervous..  Basically he can't sit still-- figits..  I like to sit outside or a restaurant and talk some---  he can't; he is also always in a rush which I can't stand.  He will gobble his food down and leave the room. Yes, he is my husband so I want him with me and do things BUT in the same token I can't stand his nervousness and it makes me stressed!!!  There has been a few times where I hear the garage door open (him coming home) and I cringed with stress all over!!


He does well at his job and he has helped with the kids as long as I told him what needs to be done with them.  We pay our bills on time and have a savings.  BUT he is very anal about money..  Always has to have a coupon, gets points and such on gas/food/ and credit cards..  I know how to save money and use coupons myself BUT this guy is over the top control like it's all he talks about is buying things at cheap prices and such..  Yes, I'm proud of him and how he does this but it's the only hobby he has..  I've asked to help out with cooking and he has no interest.. yet I get the third degree when I go food shopping or when any bill comes in.

He also seems restless when sleeping and has been waking me up also which I don't like.  He has always had poor sleeping habits but NOW I'm waking up because he is moving too much or him going to the couch to sleep. I need my sleep!!!  After we were married I did send him to the Dr and he went because I was very upset over this--  He seemed more nervous and picking his hands; also not sleeping well.  The Dr did give him Paxil but he didn't take it that long and complained about how he felt.  The last year I have asked him to go see a Dr and he says he doesn't have a problem but I do!!  So I signed us up for therapy--  we went once and he didn't like it.   So now what do I do??   I don't think I can live with a 'nervous nelly' anymore.  I just called for individual counseling for me--  I need to know if it's me..  I know I married him like this BUT I think whatever it is it's gotten worse.


He does get angry and yell but I give it right back and tell him 'this is abuse'.  He is controlling at certain times, has to butt in on conversations (whenever he is around) and like I said before mumbles to himself.   He's not  patient about anything and drives too fast all the time!!  My kids rely on me for comfort and such. Can someone tell me WHY I'm with him??  I do feel resentment and my gut it telling me to leave..    I do get out with friends so I can relax and enjoy a good meal-- we usually talk for a couple hours.  I also try to get to the movies every now and then with a friend..  Yes, I'm trying to get out and 'be normal' but I still hate the fact of what I have to go through with spouse!!!  I get jealous of other couples and what on facebook and such...   So even if couples therapy doesn't happen at least I can vent through individual counseling..  Even though we have insurance, he will freak-out about the co-pay and tell me that I'm OK and I don't need to go anymore..  UGH  Same thing with the dentist-- I'm always afraid that there will be extra costs which means I have to listen to him badgering me about why I need this....   Thanks for reading-- I needed to be heard.