What to do when it really is his fault?

I asked my husband to get something out of my car Friday (because I'd just got back from having surgery). Now I find out he's lost my car key. He swears he put it back in my purse and he didn't (because it's not there and I haven't touched my purse since). He refused to spend any time looking for it, spending the evening watching old TV shows on Hulu while I did housework. I start work next week. We discussed getting a new one from the dealership but there's no dealer for my make in our town, and I can't get to the dealer in the next county without a car. He works so late they are closed when he gets home. We can't afford a locksmith.

I just want him to take responsibility for what he did. I haven't yelled at him or been ugly. I just pointed out that I need it to get to work next week. His idea was that I could wait 3 hours after my shift until he gets off and can pick me up. NOT! I am sitting here baffled that my life is, once again, unraveling because of something he did and he's not taking care of it.

Update to this story

After 3 days of this and the resulting fact that I could not do any shopping, etc. he actually took some time off work and we were able to take care of this. It's nice not to be last on his list of priorities for once.

Been there, done that

I'm glad he finally took responsibility and helped take care of it. My ex SO often left me to deal with situations HE created.

I am glad he took some

I am glad he took some responsibility for the situation and took care of it for you.

I didn't initially respond because I honestly could not relate and didn't have any suggestions. It almost feels like you're sometimes asking us "how do I get this rock of mine to turn into a sponge?" My husband has a pretty severe case of ADHD, but if he lost my keys he would feel so bad that he would be at the dealership first thing the next morning getting me another...or he'd have killed himself finding them for me. I was married to a man like this...who would tear up my stuff, lose my stuff, loan out my stuff...and felt ZERO responsibility or remorse...and he wasn't ADHD. I am not sure this is ADHD. Who knows?

Sherri, that's it exactly

I do NEED him to do things I can't do (I can't drive without a car key, can't provide medical insurance for myself, can't do certain kinds of housework right now because of my surgery, etc.) I was a single mother for 15 years, raising a child who I am now sure has ADHD and her son, who's been diagnosed with it. I did take care of everything. But now I can't and I hate it. And I hate that he does not do the things I NEED him to do. It frequently appears to me that he simply does not care what my needs are. He lived with him mom until we were married, so he thinks of women as people to provide for his needs. I am not sure how much of this is ADHD and how much is just him.

I am fascinated by the fact that I could never get my ADHD daughter to love me, and then I turned around and married someone with the same disorder and went on a seemingly endless quest to get HIM to love me. What the hell is wrong with me anyway???