What to do when you feel like you just can't take it any more....

For the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling the stress welling up inside of me.  Almost to the point that I am ready to call our relationship and our business quits.  We have been together for over 10 years (married for 5 years).  Both of our children are in college.  My H is undiagnosed ADHD and is also in denial that he even has ADHD.  I have not disclosed to ANYONE that he is ADHD.  It is like the "dirty little secret" that I keep all to myself.  We are trying to run a business together, but it is the most difficult challenge I have ever faced.  He makes business decisions without me and then doesn't tell me about them until I "discover" them on my own.  He changes passwords to accounts and forgets to tell me.  Heck, he can't even remember he changed the passwords either.  We will discuss business details together and then he makes a change to our plan, without even discussing it with me again.  Although I am suppose to be one of the key managers, I feel like I am running to keep up with his ever changing plans.  I get very stressed and frustrated about him excluding me, but it just doesn't seem to have any effect on him.    Of course, since he is in denial about the ADHD, all of these issues are my fault and I am the one with the problems. 

If I make it through the year without totally flipping out will be a miracle.  I just bought Melissa's book today and I am hoping that I can find some peace and the strength to find better ways to cope with this madness. 

New to this

I have no great words of wisdom for you as I am underwater myself w/ my ADHD spouse.  However, I wanted to say I know EXACTLY what you mean about it being your "dirty little secret."  No one in our life knows what it's really like to live w/ my DH.  No one knows some of the truly horrific things he has said/done.  I don't want my family to look at him differently, and I don't think his family would believe me.  Plus I don't want to hurt him.  I just go on allowing everyone in our lives to look at me as some controlling beach while trying to keep it all together.