My husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD in his late 30s, and has very gradually started to take medication. He started with half dose wellbutrin, now is going to whole dose wellbutrin, and in a month will start something else if all is well. I'm wondering what your experiences with medication have been in the early stages. Stress is so high at home that we urgently need some significant change, but I know better than to think that medication would magically solve everything. So I'd really like to temper my expectations. What were positive changes? What did you still need to work on?
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
Hi - it usually takes a while to get going with managing ADHD. Medications can often help quite a bit (70-80% of adults can find a medication that provides significant improvement without major side effects) but there are a lot of other approaches that also need to be added. For more info on that you may wish to download the free treatment e-book from the home page.
Think of meds as just one tool - one that can improve the chemistry of brain functioning to make it easier for your partner to make decisions and choices that work for him and the rest of the family. But where the rubber hits the road is in the ACTIONS he takes once it's easier, and that's a learning process. Pills don't teach skills, and he's probably spent most of his life using sub-optimal coping strategies. Again, I talk about how to think about this, set target symptoms, etc., in the e-book.
You are at the beginning of a journey which you, too, will be taking. If you haven't read The ADHD Effect on Marriage yet, that will give you good info on the many aspects of how the two of you interact around ADHD symptomatic behaviors, and things that each of you can contribute to lessen the stress between you.
Submitted by FinallyCrushing... on
You put it so beautifully. I tried to reply saying something similar below before reading your comment, and realize that you explained what I was trying to say much more succinctly.
Submitted by mutedsonos on
In my experience I took my husband a while to find the right medication and has changed the type he takes about 4 times over the last 4 years. Everyone reacts differently to the various types that can be prescribed. It can be turbulent..!
It might be worth keeping a private diary (i used a note on my iPhone which can be password protected) to keep notes on your experience on his behaviour and reaction to the medication. I used to refer to these when he asked me for feedback on how he was getting on... It was good to have actual examples his behaviour, as much as it wasn't well received, despite being asked for feedback....!
Meds effectiveness vary wildly for me.
Submitted by FinallyCrushing... on
Wellbutrin didn't really help me much. I think I have something about reuptake inhibitors in general. Strattera was also not effective. That just made my stomach hurt about 30 minutes after taking it.
Stimulant medications REALLY help me. Ritalin worked well but only for like 30 minutes so that was a no go. I ended up landing on Adderall and it has been working fantastically.
I guess my point is that when you find the right medication (and are able to notice and be proactive about feelings to quash them before getting nasty) things can really turn around. I've been married for 11 years and this past year has absolutely been the best of the marriage. We jive so well now that my rushes of emotion are expected by me and I can just tell myself it's going to pass soon. I think that your husband starting to do that now will be even more helpful than meds; but once he finds the right meds and works on his feelings/etc it will be a very noticable difference.