I have been in a 2 1/2 year relationship with someone I love. There is no doubt in that. But he has ADD and I have trouble reconciling who he wants to be with who he actually is.
My boyfriend, who I hope will someday be husband, is well aware of his ADD shortcomings and he actively tries tactics to battle the symptoms: forgetting to do things, procrastination, inability to 'see' what needs to be done without being told. He takes medication that I don't think is working, but does not see a therapist or have a defined work plan. He is very intelligent, but he can stare at a homework assignment for hours and not be able to get it done.
I love him, but I am terrified of feeling like he isn't my true partner in life and that I will constantly have to work to make sure his 'intent' matches any follow through. I am worried that even with his intelligence and love of learning that he will be unable to have a steady job or even unable to do things that I make clear to him that have to get done.
I am a very organized and capable person, so this is particularly hard for me. I try so hard to be understanding when he forgets to buy be a birthday present even after I remind him or he doesn't write an email to a teacher to make sure he passes a class. His intentions are always so good, but they only occasionally are congruent with his actions.
What can I do?
I am torn between love and my need to have a real partner in life.