I feel I am out of options and in desperate need of advice.
My ADHD husband informed me today that he hates his meds, stopped them and will not go back on ANY, as he only did it for me anyway. The meds were not doing anything anyway, but he will not even try anything else. The fact that he was taking them for only me is sitting bad with me, when will he ever do anything to improve HIS life.
After a huge fight and me packing my bags (waiting until after weekend to leave, he doesn't even realize I packed), I got him to glance at ADHD Effect book. He said he might read it, but "hates to read, it will take him forever, he can't process what he reads anyway,"... blah, blah, blah.
A year or two ago I would have just left (married 13 years). The last year I decided I would give it a try 110% because that is when we finally got a real diagnosis. Added to that is in the meantime, my job has been eliminated, not just at my place of work but all places that I would make enough to survive (don't even want to go into that). I could make a living on my own, but that would mean moving at least 60 miles away (no jobs available where I live). There is no housing available here (to rent or own), I have no financial help whatsoever other than husband and his crooked-minded family. Our taxes haven't been done in years (that was always left up to husband, enough said, but I am working on it). Even if I had a recent tax return, with his income(s) and being a business owner, unless I am legally separated, I do not qualify for any sort of assistance. I don't think I'm ready to say 100% I want to legally separate, not only because of financial reasons either. It hurts me to say, but deep down I must still care. We do have a child and live in a very small town and I will not uproot my child mid-school year either, but I'm not comfortable leaving child with my husband. If I leave, I'm looking at possibility of staying in some sort of transitional shelter. I am not comfortable with that idea, knowing so many others need that help more than me, but I really don't know what my other options are. I'd take suggestions on this as well. It seems my husband has been just controlling enough that I have no other options, especially now that I am not working.
These are all excuses from me anyway. The thing I am wanting advice on is...should I "help" him get through the book, i.e. highlighting relevant information (relevant to US, not just me or him) and ask if he wants to go over it together? Should I continue to leave it lay on the counter where it has been for months in hopes that now that I have pointed it out to him, he might pick it up and look at it? Do I continue to live as I have (basically feel like an employee, he deposits $ into an account monthly for bills)? Do I continue to stay and keep trying or should I just keep my mouth shut, finish my bachelors degree (about a year off) and revisit the issue then?
I know this seems all over the place, but it seems all I get from anyone is told how I'm at fault, everything I'm doing is wrong, etc. I feel so mentally beaten down like my thoughts, opinions, etc. do not matter and never will, this not even from my husband. Seriously...any advice or thoughts would be helpful.