What should i do please help.........................

I am 55 and my husband is 56. He has ADD.We just recently been married.He has a good heart but only when he is being uplifted.When I met him I had a good job in the management position.I move in with him and didn't realize how much time it costing me back and forth to my job.I quit my job and try looking for a new job here in the new town.But unluckily was never had the opportunity everything was just a part-time job.This by the way is my  second husband I am a widow.Like everyoneelse.The hyper-focus  in the beginning of a relationship was there and I thought its amazing.I thank God for such a blessing.As the relationship progress the character start to shift sharply into being attentive to don't care situation.He a journeyman electrician so he works out of town most of the time.Right now he works in the Oil company which gives him 2 weeks work and one week off.He is very flirtatious that it really upset me and    if I confront him he thinks I have some mental problem.He even try to hide his finger with the ring on when we went out and start flirting with somebody.When we go out he flirts with beautiful women in the restaurant that he doesn't admit he says hes just being friendly.One time we went to a restaurant and the owner which is so charming came and talk to him ever since sometimes he acted like he wants to treat me but when we get there his eyes is wondering looking and one time out of the blue he says' Oh there she is.Thats when I realize thinking why did I beleive that he took me here to treat me.One day we went again and the same thing so he ask wheres the owner and they said she is home looking after her kids that the husband is looking after the restaurant you should see the disappointment since then we never came back.because I can't find a job here and there was a vacancy in the company where I quit so I told him to move there with him but he was so mad and told me I have to find my own place.The reason they offered me the job is because they know he works there and its good to be with him but since he did not agree I just decided not to take it.because of what was going on I get jealous a lot when theres a really reason.Like an underwear I don't recognize cos I pack everything and I only buy one brand and if I ask him did he bought a new underwear and he says not that I know of I am hallusinating .I confronted him and he say's that I have a sever mental problem.That I should go and seek for help that i am in denial.I told him to make him happy I will seek help and I went to a doctor and my doctor said i don't have any problem.But then last week I was talking to him and I called him twice on facetime and no answer.Finally he answer while were on facetime he can't seat down he is walking  around It seems like he does'nt want to talk to me and I let him go.The next day we were texting and suddenly I told hime that he should transfer the wood leaning the firplace to the shed cos its causing water to be stagnant.When he answered IDAHO.My adrenalin went up so I said what IS about IDAHO.He is not answering and Now I am getting mad after 5 text on my part asking about that and finally he said its a typo error I mean Yeah.I was mad and told him cos were planning a trip to Calgary, " you get me thinking were going to Calgary all the while you just want me to ride along" but you have other plans I said that because we plan to go Calgary I made arrangement to my friends in Calgary then he suddenly change his mind that we should not go.And now he wants to go visit his mom  (not we)to visit his mom in another city.Now he is not talking to me.Our furnace went and I am trying to contact him after many try he answered once and just answer the question and said I gotta go.He said at one time that my jealousy has to stop otherwise this won't gonna work so I am not sure what I am facing when he comes back in two days since he doesn't want to talk to me.Am I wrong being jealous or do I have a bit of a reason to get jealous and Am I sick like what he thinks I am.Whar should i do.Should i still try to work out or just let him go if he wants to leave. 

 

you are not mad!

That is the exact same thing I go through with my ADHD husband,he would flirt non-stop with these pretty girls and I was always very upset and mad until I got some great advice to just let my anger go...jealousy is dangerous...I know how you feel,it is not easy...but nagging is not the answer...what you should do like I have and it has been working...is setting up concrete boundaries..Like at the casino where we go...he was starring down this pretty girl..one poster thought that I was being to angry at him and that I should control my anger instead of getting all mad and upset like I use to be..which never solved the problem ...I simply set my boundaries and don't go the places with him until he decides to stop flirting I just simply wont go to the places he does them in...and he is not like that as much...

the thing is (we)you can't stop (MEN) from looking at other women..it's a man thing I believe....the thing that makes it upsetting is when it's too much or too often...and then it becomes disrespectful,annoying,hurtful and then we women become resentful...in order not to lose those,we need to let go of our anger and let them know very calmly that this would not work if it continues and lay down boundaries like I:g.."I would not go there with you again honey if you continue to oogles that same girl or any other girls in my presence it makes me very uncomfortable and hurts me a great deal"and then just maybe he might stop....I know that this is not easy...I am faced with that all the time..my husband oogles and oogles and oogles...but lately at has been getting a bit better,and then again I try not to take it on as much and I find myself much more happier...

I hope that things work out for you my dear good luck..

from;lovehurts...