Hello like to get some advice , my wife is adhd she a special ed teacher who cant hold down a job , mostly from what i see no flexibility (black or white) and usually has a hard time with staff members, what i find is she is constantly negative
its a real struggle for me financially , Im on dialysis and i go to work everyday, what iam trying to do is not react to her problems , nobody want to be around her because its constant neg about someone or something ,
you would think she would learn off her mistakes, i heard that adhd people like to seek out conflict to stimulate themselves, what im really trying to do is not to react to her.
i just don't want her to bang in my ear anymore , she must be getting some type of payoff with me listening to her ,right she just started another job , don't get me wrong these kids she has in class are bad , but she only been there 3 days.
Im not ignoring, her but shell call me at work , im trying to be a little more distance or not engage in the conversation she wants to talk about.
Hi...Sounds like you are on the right trail incoming....
Submitted by c ur self on
Incoming LOL...Love that name LOL...Just based on your post, it sounds like your spouse has put herself in a Job that she isn't suited for...To me it takes a special person (emotionally stable) to handle the reality of special children...The broad range of emotions and behaviors they display each day, must be dealt w/ calmly by the Authority in charge...(Her)....My spouse (add) could never do your wife's job...She will argue with children...LOL....She is just to high, to low, to up, to down emotionally, (IMO) to handle teaching; esp...special education....I could see her hammering me about everyone's problem, (blame) when things didn't go well....She already complains about her job, bosses, co-workers most days..:) I try to listen and give her an understanding ear....But, it goes so much better (quicker, and calmer, lol) when I don't give her my opinion....(It's not about the nail) Goggle It's not about the nail, if you haven't seen the video :)...
Like I said...You are doing all I think you can do....The only other thought I have besides not giving advice and keeping your distance (not engaging) when she is not calm, would be boundaries about when it's OK to call, and when it's not...If her calls to you while you are at work are a no no, I would tell her she must stop calling barring a family emergency. Or when you know it's appropriate...
Whats the payoff
Submitted by Incoming on
Thanks for the i put my name incoming its just what means they're like loaded missels i never seen more drama . one big problem with them is they're black and white thinking . they will hyper focus on subject and there's no gray area's
Submitted by c ur self on
Loaded missile's...Yep...that's why I got so tickled when I saw it....There was no wondering (on my part) why you used that name...LOL...My W isn't bad about B&W thinking...But she is definitely a tunnel vision/hyper focus gal....The next shiny thing (in her life) just popped up recently...."Geo Caching"....I had never heard of it....It will dominate her thoughts and time until she gets bored with it....She worked a 10 hour shift last night....Got off at 6 AM and spent the next few hours hunting them...She got questioned by the police...Of course she thought that was cool....LOL.....Yep
(Games, Thrills, Travel...Just any fun thing, but responsibility! LOL)....Boundaries! Acceptance! and Live and Let Live!...Is how you survive!...And you better Love them of course!