When can I relax and be taken care of?

My husband has ADD and dyslexia.  He was diagnosed during childhood.  From the beginning of our relationship, his forgetfulness and carelessness have always been an issue.  He was very careless with his money and had a significant amount of debt before we married.  I found it easier to assume the bills, because then I knew they were taken care of and paid (or not paid late.)  I eventually just started assuming more and more responsibilities.  When he was left with something, I found he never did it, or did it wrong and I had to suffer the consequences of his decisions.  Four years ago, we had a son.  That's when things started to get worse.  I became so overwhelmed with taking care of everything and everyone.  We had a huge fight and decided to go to counseling to work on our marriage.  The first counselor we had, wasn't really helpful, but my husband liked her so we continued to see her for a year.  Eventually, I felt we weren't getting anywhere and we changed.  The new counselor we are seeing has helped.  During the course of attending counseling, my husband started Adderral.  Things were starting to get somewhat better.  He was more organized.  Then he had something tramatic happen to him at work.  He hit a person who was committing suicide.  He was depressed before this happened.  However, following the accident, he became more and more depressed.  I feel my husband has been depressed the whole time I have known him.  He presents well to others.  However, he has very low self-esteem.  It often made it difficult in counseling, because he presented so well.  Things in our marriage began to spiral more and more downhill due to his depression.  I tried to help him as best as I could.  However, my husband does not understand emotions.  He only understand concrete facts.  Things to him are black or white.  I became more and more frustrated and exhausted.  My husband agreed to attend an out-patient intensive therapy program.  This program helped him see a lot of his problems.  The program became so overwhelming for him he had a nervous breakdown.  We had a intense argument one night and he ended up hitting me.  My husband has never hit me before and I became scared for my safety.  He wasn't himself.  He realized what he had done and couldn't face himself.  He eventually was admitted for an inpatient hospital stay.  He was discharged and resumed his out-patient therapy program.  Upon his completion, he moved in with his mother to sort things out.  I had my mother come stay with me to support me.  Things were going fine for the last month.  He was sharing things with me.  Being more attentive to me.  Then my mother left and is no longer there helping us.  He is now overwhelmed with his responsibilities again.  I am once again picking up the pieces.  However, I am no longer feeling the responsibility to help him solve his problems.  I am left feeling like I am caring for everyone and don't have any time for me.  I am starting to get angry and frustrated again.  I don't want to return to this feeling.  Through the course of his out-patient therapy, his adderral was discontinued.  It was felt it could be causing his increased depression and increased anger.  Since he has been off of it, his depression has improved along with his anger.  He was also on Ritalin and Stratera in the past and he had the same reaction with those.  So I am left feeling hopeless.  I see his ADD and being him and something that will never change.  I have compromised on a lot of things.  I no longer get upset when I find tv remotes in the fridge or bananas in our dresser drawer.  However, I started giving him more responsibility.  And he can't handle it.  It takes a month for him to put something in the mail.  I feel like I am constantly dealing with his issues and when I need support, I'm left feeling all alone.  I love my husband dearly.  We get along great when we don't have to deal with daily life.  However, that is not reality.  I'm not sure what I should do anymore.  I am feeling helpless and hope