When a couple stays married for the kids

Hello. I'm new here but not new to the many problems of an ADD marriage. I've been married for a long time and like many of you have tried to tackle my marriage problems for many years. About 8 years ago, we went through marriage counseling, briefly. I came to the incorrect conclusion that ADD behaviors could not be changed, so I was just going to have to live with those behaviors. Fast forward 8 years later and many Drug/mental health counseling sessions later, and my hope for my marriage is dead. This after trying to raise an ADD child who turned to drugs and crime. The last 8 years has been spent trying to save him, which hasn't, and destroyed my self esteem and my marriage. What happens to the ACOA (me) and the ADD who have a drug addicted child? Complete distruction of trust in a marriage and a decision on my part that separation is the best answer. When it comes to establishing boundaries with a drug addict, how can a ACOA and a ADD parent ever agree? He wakes up as if nothing happened, and I wake up fearing for my safety. After many years, it leaves you in a big black hole of lonliness. Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts.