When they know what to do but aren't doing it?

Hello everybody,


 First off, THANK YOU for existing. I'm so grateful to have found this site! 


 I started off by writing a near novel of my situation, but erased it. My experience is yours! What I want to know is, what if your adhd sig. other KNOWS what to do to help themselves - diet, exercise, sleep schedule, etc....but isn't doing it? I'm not asking for perfection here, I mean, really hardly doing any of it? My ADHD guy TAUGHT me the things he needs to do, eat, etc..for goodness' sake. We've discussed things to do.  He tells me what he needs...but there is no follow through. Instead he's working all ours, not making money anyway, sleeping all day, eating crap, etc... etc...! It's like he got comfortable in the relationship and has turned into a total wreck. 


 I've been digging deep into my bag of detatchment tricks, and have also stated my needs gently and even in writing! With praise. I asked for one weekday night and one weekend day. I do not think this is asking for the moon? Meanwhile I bought the house, pay home bills etc...to his total credit he does a lot of yardwork which I appreciate and make it clear that I appreciate it! However, in our relationship we have no intimacy and do NOTHING together. Unless it's my guy talking about himself? Our relationship is in serious trouble and I cannot get him to see this. I even had a nightmare when I was beating my head against a wall. 


 I can't imagine living without my guy, but this is no life either.  I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! 


Suggestions, advice, or anything is appreciated! I love this guy but am so lonely. I have cool friends, but no kids, nieces/nephews/siblings etc..., so  at midlife finally I though I'd found my mini family. Instead it's morphing into a lonely nightmare and I am so sad. :( 


Thank you!

rara avis